Days pass and I don’t realize how far away I get till I take a moment to stand and look back. Did I lose my focus? Or start to let some little things carry me away? As I am lost now, I’ll be making the most of it; as long as I dont forget to. How did I get here?
I know where I want to go (for now) short term and long and yet all that seems to get crowded out very easily. And am I not missing out if I dont grab hold of where I am now? I guess thats part of the challenge. Keeping your eyes on the far shore while enjoying the cool swim now, taking time to play and feeling the enveloping soft water around you. I haven’t reached that shore yet. I don’t know that it’s all it looks from here. And as for God, He may know and wash me down stream a bit for a better landing in the end.
What do I want? I want to remain real with God and not become complacent.I want to finish the paramedic program. I want to get the mural going at the center. I want to attend the Agean center in the spring semester (scholarships and God willing). I want to fall in love gently and with the man God has prepared to handle me (hehe truth). I want to be more loving.Many of these things are attainable but seem so impossible right now; at this point the art school in Greece seems the farthest. Yet it is the one I hope for the most, well it’s tied with falling in love.
Let’s hope to dig ourselves out of the mire of the daily, to embrace it’s beauty, to discard it’s disappointments and dark spots, to keep our eyes on the passion of our heart that will bring us ever closer to contentment and God as all things (good and bad) are brought about by Him.
Your writing is like your art. It\’s Honest and real. I\’ve been there also. Like you I want to feel God in a real way and not the fairy tale way that they teach us in church. But I must warn you. The closer you get the more suffering you will endure, but because of the annointing that comes with it you will have victory. I had to learn that my relationship with God is more important than any other; because God is a jealous God. Like Chambers say, we must be willing to give up all for him. Sometimes It feels that I will end up pennyless and insane; but I know that that is not true. Paul said,"I once was young but now I\’m old; but I have never seen the rightous forsaken or his seed beg for bread." I bank on that.
Talk at you.
Get back to me about the work.